Please, do not speak like this at work:
And, if you must occasionally resort to this sort of horrible corporate-speak in real-life conversations, whatever you do, don’t ever write like this! You have no excuse.
Here’s a good list of terrible corporate lingo from software company Atlassian, and some suggested normal English alternatives that mean roughly the same thing. “Alignment” is a special pet peeve of mine. “Circle back” is widely mocked for good reason. “Double click” (as in “dig deeper into a topic”) is simply awful.
Not all of the terms on this list are bad. “Bandwidth” is a fine term to describe something that’s not exactly synonymous with “availability.” A thing delivered to a client can reasonably be called a “deliverable” (“outcome” is not a synonym for this). “EOD” is convenient shorthand that I have no problem using, as long as other people in my organization use it. These are exceptions, though.
I would add to the list a very exotic piece of corporate dialect I overheard in the wild once: “It’s not coming from a place of no.” Wow!
What’s the problem with corporate buzzwords? Consider the exaggerated portrayal of empty corporate-speak in the video above. The characters sound preposterous because they aren’t communicating anything meaningful. There is no semantic content in these thickets of words. Buzzwords have completely displaced thought.
The danger of relying too much on buzzwords is that you can slip into this habit of using language to avoid saying what needs to be said. Too often in corporate communications, language is used to muddy the waters – to conceal and obfuscate meaning, rather than express it. Business and professional communication should be clear, direct, and to the point. Using buzzwords suggests that you’re trying dance around the point.
On top of that, buzzwords are cringey because they function as a sort of tribal signifier, a way of identifying yourself as a member in good standing of the white-collar world. You wouldn’t hear people on a construction site talking about “synergy,” and you probably wouldn’t ask a family member to “ping” you. Maybe you would, I don’t know. But normally, this type of lingo is confined to white-collar environments, where people manipulate information on a screen for a living. Dropping buzzwords is like flashing a gang sign. It’s a way of telling people: “I am one of you, I am fully adapted to this subculture.” In other words, cringe! Just use normal English like normal people. You’ll thank me.